Money Isn't the Only Thing that Matters

About 2 years ago I was having my own struggle with what success and wealth looked like for me. 

Say what? 

The lady with all the financial education and experience was struggling? The woman who tells us that we need to shift our perceptions around what constitutes wealth and quit comparing ourselves to everyone else? 

Unhappiness, denial and fear, table for one, please. 

If only we could see the solutions to our issues as quickly as we see them for others. 

So why the unhappiness, denial and fear? 

I was unhappy with my career. I loved (and still do love) the people I worked with; the organization itself was terrific. I wouldn’t be where I am today without the training and support they gave me. However, I was unhappy with my role. 

I realized I didn’t want to be just an advisor anymore. 

I had gotten a taste of public speaking with TV and radio interviews. I started this blog because I could share advice in my quirky way that felt authentic for me. Sitting on various boards had made it clear; I enjoyed being in leadership. 

I wanted more. 

So I started to make a development plan. 

I read all the Brene Brown, Simon Sinek and Stephen Covey books, I watched Ted Talks obsessively, and I started shadowing leaders in different departments. I had visions of becoming a CEO of that organization up until I realized that it wasn’t going to happen. 

At least not there. 

One of my leadership coaches speaks about writing from the scar of a situation versus the wound meaning, take the time needed to heal first. 

I was devastated when I realized I wouldn’t have the role I long desired. I needed time to heal before I wrote again because I was hurt and angry, and this would have been a very different article back then. 

Enter in denial. 

The writing was on the wall at the organization. Despite all I had undertaken to prepare myself, I didn’t have enough experience for the role when it came up. 

I thought my exemplary past performance, networking skills and willingness to learn would be enough for that role. 

It wasn’t. 

They wouldn’t take a chance on me. 

Those who know me, know I am fiercely loyal, and this crushed me. I felt like that loyalty I gave was not returned. 

As they say, time heals all wounds (and wine, copious amounts of wine). 

I can see that it was a smaller organization, and there weren’t any real entry-level leadership opportunities at that time. 

Enter Fear, stage right. 

It was decision time. 

Was I ready to leave an organization that I have worked at for 12 years? 

Loyalty is a core belief. I loved my co-workers. I loved my clients. Could I leave them? 

I sat in fear for a few months. I waffled between the comfort of the known and unknown. 

What if the new place has mean people? What if no one likes me? What if I FAIL? What if no one will hire me? 

But...what if I love it? 

What if it opens up a door that I would not have had access to before? 

Photo by Joshua Ness on Unsplash

So last Christmas, my husband and I had a rather lengthy conversation. I laid it all out, and we talked pro's and cons until all the wine was gone. 

I was going to look for a new job. 

I know what you are thinking, seriously Caval. All this to decide you are going to look for another job? 

Yes. 

I am human and have a wide array of emotions (despite what my husband says). I adapt to change readily in some areas of life like adjusting to new systems and reading new books, but I struggled to admit I was going to leave a place that had been such a part of my life and make this change. 

At the beginning of 2019, I found a leadership position I wanted to apply for! 

I sent in my resume and waited. 

Then I got an interview. 

Holy hell! That brought up a whole other range of emotions. 

I hadn’t interviewed in seven years. I almost threw up in my car on the way to the interview. I was sweating like I was on that wretched stair climber at the gym (pretty sure that piece of equipment came from hell). I pulled myself together and made it through and felt good leaving the building. 

Fast forward to a week later, and I get the call. I got the job! My heart was so thrilled I almost missed the part about the salary. 

It would involve a pay cut. 

My heart stopped. 

Shit.

Now what? 

So this is where if I followed my advice, I would have said to myself, ”Caval, money isn’t everything” but at that moment it felt like it was. 

Could my family afford that pay cut? What would we have to give up? I can’t give up books. How would this derail my retirement plan? 

I came to realize I was asking myself the wrong questions again. 

What was my ultimate career goal? How was this a stepping stone to achieving that? Would this role make me happier? 

Alan and I talked again. For the greatest success, financial matters need to be discussed openly and honestly between both partners. If he had come home one day and said “I got a new job, and oh by the way it reduced our income by $500 a month” without consulting me I would have some choice words for him. 

So we talked. 

And we talked. 

And we looked at our budget and we re-wrote our budget. 

We discussed what we could put on hold and what we couldn’t give up. We talked to our lender about our mortgage and line of credit, how could we restructure things to make this work. We temporarily stopped investing. All so I could make this career move. 

Insert gasp here. 

Why? 

I am happier when I have less stress, and that trickles down to how I show up for my family and friends. I am more comfortable when I work fewer hours during the week and when I have the flexibility to work from home if I need to. I am happiest when I challenge myself, and this role gives me that. And finally, because money isn’t the only thing that matters. 

There are so many things to consider, and I could likely go on for days, but instead, here is a list of other items to weight out if you are facing this decision. Even if the salary if less, are there other benefits that make up for it? 

What is the pension or health and dental benefits like? 

Are there more flexible work environment (options to work from home)? 

Is there less fluctuation of income (commissions etc. aren't always stable, predictable items) 

What was it that made you consider leaving your current role and will the new role fill that gap? 

1. More opportunity for growth

2. More education/personal development 

I suggest.. 

Do you know any existing employees at the new organization? Take them out for coffee, ask them questions about the culture there. 

Speak with your partner, family and friends. Get feedback; often, it will confirm what you already know and make you feel more positive about your decision. 

Look at your budget. Can you realistically take a temporary pay cut to continue on the path to the job of your dreams? I think you will find that if you want it, you can make it happen. 

Remember to have faith in your decision. Money isn’t the only thing that matters. 

You are wealthy because you are successful and you are successful because you are happy with your career, your family and your friends.